I'm sorry that to free my soul,
Means to harm yours too,
I'm sorry that I never saw,
The love that came from you
I'm sorry not to take a chance,
And stay a while more,
I'm sorry that I made you cry,
And made you so unsure
I'm sorry to leave you,
This message does ring true,
I'm sorry that it's not enough,
To stop what I plan to do
I'm sorry that life,
Soon fades into death,
I'm sorry I chose when,
To stop the beating in my chest
I'm sorry not to give you time,
To understand what's going on,
I'm sorry that it seems to be,
Life's just one big con
I'm sorry for these things,
These regrets are not the last,
I'm sorry all I l
I was going to be an actor,
Your words got in the way,
You said it wouldn't happen,
Told me every day,
you took away my dream, ripped it at the seams
I was going to be a star,
But your actions dimmed the light,
And now I can't replace the hope,
I dreamed of every night,
I was going to be my best,
You claimed it a petty dream,
And so because of you,
I'm a maid who cooks and cleans
you took away my dream, ripped it at the seams
I was going to have more,
So much more than this,
But my dreams were washed away,
By your insulting kiss,
you took away my dream, ripped it at the seams
Now I'm and empty being,
It shows in all I d
She covers up the bruises,
And covers up the scars,
She feels that she's in jail,
Looking through steel bars,
You don't see how your hurt her,
Dont see the real pain,
Despite the million bruises,
And blood left dripping in the rain,
Tonight you pushed too far,
She laid too quiet and still,
She waited for you to leave her,
For you to get your fill,
She watched her blood,
As it slowly ran away,
She looked into the sky,
And wondered why it went this way,
They found her alone,
But she refused to speak,
Didn't try to find a voice,
For the pain that ran too deep,
She slowly moves back home,
Faced with a million fears,
And sile
You don't see her pain,
Don't know how it taunts her,
As she cuts her self again,
Why did it turn out this way?
As she cuts ever deeper,
Tears stream down her face,
She hopes the pain will leave her,
She can't stand another day
The blood and tears kiss,
Singing their sweet song,
All the things she'll never miss,
Slowly fall away
She closes her eyes,
In suicides embrace,
She's finally lost the disguise,
She wont wake to the new day
You spent your youth,
Wondering of what would be,
Now a special memory,
That you've told to me,
You grew up wanting,
The perfect future,
Instead you hid from him,
Listening to an overture,
As an adult you married,
The man "mr right"
You never ever guessed,
He'd make you cry each night,
You had three children,
You'd never wanted more,
But then you had two others,
Who you'd love and adore,
Finally you left him,
It ment money would be tight,
But for the first time in years,
You fell asleep at night,
You got a job,
It was the "new age",
The one your mother fought for,
And so you turned another page,
There are many things t
The outcasts walk among you,
Like a shadow sent by night,
To stalk the sun,
They mock you,
They don't listen to your ideals,
They don't fall for your empty promises,
And get hurt by your meaningless words,
They don't cry for no reason,
They contemplate the world,
Want to change it,
Instead of settling for second,
Third,
Fourth best,
They live in reality,
They know there's more pain,
Than happiness,
They live life the way they want to,
To you it might not be to the fullest,
To them it's beautifully simplistic,
No one feels comfortable with them,
Except their own,
You feel surrounded by them,
But feel so apart,
You don't
In the cool night it glistens,
The blade so cool and calm,
As steadily it hovers,
Over the scar-marked arm,
Slowly it advances,
Toward the naked flesh,
To end a life of misery,
To save this nervous wreck,
They'll never know they did it,
They may not even care,
About her slow and taunting pain,
They never knew was there,
They slowly wore away,
Her spirit for this life,
Instead they replaced it,
With endless torment and strife,
They threw the sticks,
And threw the stones,
And as their mothers warned,
Each would break her bones,
But they never warned of words,
Which stung just so much more,
Never cried the warning,
That le
Alone again,
Their arms embrace me,
Their eyes explore me,
Their feet run towards me,
And turn the other way
Alone again,
All the false smiles,
As though it's OK
No one knows she's dying,
Slowly on the inside
Alone again,
The tears she falls asleep to,
Their words,
The slow agonising ridicule,
She's heard all her life
Alone again,
Travellling slowly home,
A place she's never been,
Her choices stay unkown,
Until its all too late
I'm sorry that to free my soul,
Means to harm yours too,
I'm sorry that I never saw,
The love that came from you
I'm sorry not to take a chance,
And stay a while more,
I'm sorry that I made you cry,
And made you so unsure
I'm sorry to leave you,
This message does ring true,
I'm sorry that it's not enough,
To stop what I plan to do
I'm sorry that life,
Soon fades into death,
I'm sorry I chose when,
To stop the beating in my chest
I'm sorry not to give you time,
To understand what's going on,
I'm sorry that it seems to be,
Life's just one big con
I'm sorry for these things,
These regrets are not the last,
I'm sorry all I l
I was going to be an actor,
Your words got in the way,
You said it wouldn't happen,
Told me every day,
you took away my dream, ripped it at the seams
I was going to be a star,
But your actions dimmed the light,
And now I can't replace the hope,
I dreamed of every night,
I was going to be my best,
You claimed it a petty dream,
And so because of you,
I'm a maid who cooks and cleans
you took away my dream, ripped it at the seams
I was going to have more,
So much more than this,
But my dreams were washed away,
By your insulting kiss,
you took away my dream, ripped it at the seams
Now I'm and empty being,
It shows in all I d
She covers up the bruises,
And covers up the scars,
She feels that she's in jail,
Looking through steel bars,
You don't see how your hurt her,
Dont see the real pain,
Despite the million bruises,
And blood left dripping in the rain,
Tonight you pushed too far,
She laid too quiet and still,
She waited for you to leave her,
For you to get your fill,
She watched her blood,
As it slowly ran away,
She looked into the sky,
And wondered why it went this way,
They found her alone,
But she refused to speak,
Didn't try to find a voice,
For the pain that ran too deep,
She slowly moves back home,
Faced with a million fears,
And sile
You don't see her pain,
Don't know how it taunts her,
As she cuts her self again,
Why did it turn out this way?
As she cuts ever deeper,
Tears stream down her face,
She hopes the pain will leave her,
She can't stand another day
The blood and tears kiss,
Singing their sweet song,
All the things she'll never miss,
Slowly fall away
She closes her eyes,
In suicides embrace,
She's finally lost the disguise,
She wont wake to the new day
You spent your youth,
Wondering of what would be,
Now a special memory,
That you've told to me,
You grew up wanting,
The perfect future,
Instead you hid from him,
Listening to an overture,
As an adult you married,
The man "mr right"
You never ever guessed,
He'd make you cry each night,
You had three children,
You'd never wanted more,
But then you had two others,
Who you'd love and adore,
Finally you left him,
It ment money would be tight,
But for the first time in years,
You fell asleep at night,
You got a job,
It was the "new age",
The one your mother fought for,
And so you turned another page,
There are many things t
The outcasts walk among you,
Like a shadow sent by night,
To stalk the sun,
They mock you,
They don't listen to your ideals,
They don't fall for your empty promises,
And get hurt by your meaningless words,
They don't cry for no reason,
They contemplate the world,
Want to change it,
Instead of settling for second,
Third,
Fourth best,
They live in reality,
They know there's more pain,
Than happiness,
They live life the way they want to,
To you it might not be to the fullest,
To them it's beautifully simplistic,
No one feels comfortable with them,
Except their own,
You feel surrounded by them,
But feel so apart,
You don't
In the cool night it glistens,
The blade so cool and calm,
As steadily it hovers,
Over the scar-marked arm,
Slowly it advances,
Toward the naked flesh,
To end a life of misery,
To save this nervous wreck,
They'll never know they did it,
They may not even care,
About her slow and taunting pain,
They never knew was there,
They slowly wore away,
Her spirit for this life,
Instead they replaced it,
With endless torment and strife,
They threw the sticks,
And threw the stones,
And as their mothers warned,
Each would break her bones,
But they never warned of words,
Which stung just so much more,
Never cried the warning,
That le
Alone again,
Their arms embrace me,
Their eyes explore me,
Their feet run towards me,
And turn the other way
Alone again,
All the false smiles,
As though it's OK
No one knows she's dying,
Slowly on the inside
Alone again,
The tears she falls asleep to,
Their words,
The slow agonising ridicule,
She's heard all her life
Alone again,
Travellling slowly home,
A place she's never been,
Her choices stay unkown,
Until its all too late
You'd make such a pretty corpse,
You'd be mine, for once,
I'd lay you on my bed and watch, alone.
Those pretty eyes could never walk,
Wander, stray from me again,
You couldn't talk,
Confess and watch me take it from my flesh…
I always watch you sleeping,
Feel you breathing,
Stroke your hair,
All the while your dreaming,
Someone else instead…
You'd make such a pretty corpse,
I'd kiss your lips again,
I could rest assured I was the last ,
I'd be the only one to touch them,
I haven't felt for so long,
Your lies have caused a growing numbness,
I'm too far gone…
I always watch you sleeping,
Feel you breathing,
Stroke your hai
I wanted to be
Part of your world
I wanted to lie
To my self
I wanted to die,
Like you taught me too,
I wanted to cry
Like I knew the truth
Somehow you dragged
Me into your world,
I wanted to run,
But never learnt.
I wore that mask
You forced me to,
And now I'm stuck,
Within your world,
All because I yearned
For you,
Because I needed,
You,
This world is far from
Real,
This world is vivid
Twisted and distorted
But, I've grown to fall
Within this lie,
And I wanted it,
I called for you,
Praised you,
Now, release me,
This world has,
Tormented me,
I lye broken,
All I wanted,
Was all you gave me,
My gift
(Prologue)
He was an amazing guy. Sabri could just see him with his black hair hanging over his brilliant green eyes looking sweetly at her. Elliot was a calm, gentle person. They understood each other in such a way that there was no need for words unless they just wanted to use them. They spoke to each other through their eyes and body language; no one
else could understand, and that's how they wanted it. She remembered the tint of sadness and beauty that always surrounded him. Sabri leaned forward and kissed him, knowing that he could not feel it. He looked so rested, lying in that coffin that she almost envied him.
Death had always sur
T
In my mind I am suffering
work this place and wait forever
I stab my head and twist it over
O
My life is squirming
throw a wrench in the works
rending the fabric of my reality
R
Maximise the nothingness
gap in the existence
I feel everything is gone
M
Exacting its revenge
the reaper swoops in
slashing through my memory
E
Killing my thoughts in the dark
I lose my mind to nothing
Ribbons of sinew, all that left in the wake
N
Lacerate all the devious images
rape; it comes to this mush
all my creative juices plundered
T
Demoralised and defeated inside
I have nothing left to me
take another piece and leave me
E
Now t
This time I try not to cry as I sing
A story of our lives, such a beautiful thing
But it comes so hard and goes so easy
As I try once again not to be so needy
Seeing your face has me trapped in this place
In between love and a heartbreak
Trapped in this place, the perfect inbetween
..thump..
..thump..
You can hear it, I'm sure
Our hearts combined, mine impure
But yours helps mine along
As I sing this song I've begun to cry
And realized that I don't even have to try
Because loving you is a natural thing
That makes me want to sing
..thump..
..thump..
Now each beat makes my smile grow wider
Makes my eyes twinkle with a hint of
Current Residence: wherever i fall, i stay Favourite genre of music: rock....mainly, but anything else goes MP3 player of choice: I-river Favourite cartoon character: eeyor Personal Quote: "as you do...."
secrets.....turning, twisting, sliding, the truth hides, behind my eyes and under my hat, always holding back, wanting to tell them, tell her, him, someone, emotions become stronger when the words for them are not spoken, words blunt the emotion...craziness? no this is not....if someone were to constantly speak of their love to you its effect would be altogether lost...and rather than flatter you would begin to annoy you, if someone were to constantly speak of an overwhelming pain would you think it for show...or real?
I cannot speak of the ever swelling emotions, my head and heart absorb them....when will i crack...and who will be there as
surrounding me are the broken shells of friendships, everyday i see friendships that were broken, usually because of a worthless fight that will be forgotten long before the friendship is reformed, everyday i notice another love lost, or unrequited....in some cases it's the same thing, and i thank god for the friends i still have...i'm going to go into a bit of a list, only one is a user...the others will probably visit, as they tend to just to read my journal....thx guys, i really do appreciate it, even if i tease you for not signing up...
Annie - I love the way we can talk for-for-forever, i love the way i always feel like theres a secret